The Monotony of Monogamy

 
The 1st Annual Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia movie award spectacular!
Awarding Movies in Catagories That Make no Sense!

Worst Special Effects In A Movie
And The Phoby goes to... Darkness Falls for that over exposed crap fest they called Matilda

Worst Acting In A Feature Film
And The Phoby goes to... Hayden Christensen for his great work in Star Wars II, hopefully the replace him digitaly with a lamppost in Star Wars Episode III

Its Funny When It Happens To Them Award
And The Phoby goes to... Jesse Bradford as Ben in Swimfan for being stalked. I feel youre pain

The That Remind Me of Kelly Award
And The Phoby goes to... Erika Christensen as Madison Bell for stalking.
Honorable Mention... That Whore in Gangs of New York (no shirt on)

Most Nudity in a Movie Thats NOT Porn
And The Phoby goes to... Y Tu Mama Tambien
Honorable Mention... Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Best Use of KY Jelly Award
And The Phoby goes to... Old School For its brillant KY Jelly wrestling and flashing scene

Hottest Chick In a Mediocre Movie Award
And The Phoby goes to... Jennifer Garner for her amazing use of leather in Daredevil

Best Use of a Circular Object In a Movie Award
And The Phoby goes to... Lord of the Ring: The Two Towers
Honorable Mention... Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of The Ring

Worst Use of a Circular Object In a Movie Award
And The Phoby goes to... The Ring for tha circle thing

Best Throw Back To Ancient Rome Award
And The Phoby goes to... Gods & Generals for the speech about croosing the Rubicon brought to us by Mr Filo
Honorable Mention... Star Trek Nemisis for the whole Romulus and Remes Thing

The Thats Going to be Justin in a Few Years Award
And The Phoby goes to... Sam Rockwell for standing nude in his apartment in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Honorable Mention... Tobey Maguire for being bit by a Geneticly Altered Spider

Continuing Racial Sterotypes Cause Someone Has to Award
And The Phoby goes to... Bad Company for continuing dieing sterostypes

Best Use of Hot Chicks in Bikinis Award
And The Phoby goes to... Blue Crush for having so many hot chicks in so little bathing suits

Best Scenery for a Movie
And The Phoby goes to... Detroit for being so da bomb fo shizzle my nizzle

Funniest Movie of The Year By Far Award
And The Phoby goes to... Super Troopers not seeing this movie should be sum kind of a Sin

Most Blatant Advertising in a Movie
And The Phoby goes to... Minority Report for the fox logo when he got his eyes changed and because the movie sucked
Honorable Mention... 8 Crazy Nights for the singing and dancing

Worst Movie Named Signs Award
And The Phoby goes to... Signs because i had to recongize its crappiness

Defies Physics Award (sucks and blows at the same time)
And The Phoby goes to... Swimfan for lowering the bar for every other movie
Honorable Mention... Darkness Falls for trying to go under that bar previously mentioned

Best Use of Hannibal Lecter in a Movie Award
And The Phoby goes to... Red Dragon because it needed an award

Best Use of The Word Shit in a Movie
And The Phoby goes to... 25th Hour for that Black Cop Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Most Things That Had to do with X-men in a Movie Award
And The Phoby goes to... 25th Hour for having Pyro Rougue Stryker and that i wish i was that chick who can walk through walls joke

Easiest to Buy Award
And The Phoby goes to... Die Another Day for if given enough money he would drive a Astro Van
Honorable Mention... xXx for being a copy of Bond

The I Miss Martin Sheen Award
And The Phoby goes to... Gods & Generals for replacing him with Robert Duval

The Greastest Thing Since Sliced Bread Award
And The Phoby goes to... Intermission o how i love thee

Worst Sequel Award
And The Phoby goes to... Men in Black II for not being good

Are They High Award
And The Phoby goes to... Scooby Doo for it makes you think are they high?

The Worst Movie Of 2002
And The Phoby goes to... Swimfan nuff said

Best Picture
And The Phoby goes to... 25th Hour for that Dog, the fuck you monolouge, the xmen stuff, the r kelly jokes, that chick, the leather jacket, the 911 stuff, the black cop, shiiiiiit, the obtical illusion man, the crazy bar scenes, the part where he kicks the shit out of his friend, when he says what the do to people like him in prison, and finally for Seragusa being pistol whipped nuff said

This Concludes Are Awards
We had some laughs we had some fun but noooooow it time for it to ennnnnnnd!
Good Night
posted by John at 10:51 AM