The Monotony of Monogamy

 
Van Helsing

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER?

Oh what has the world come to. This movie was in a world craptactilscous. Firsts things first this movie was all action, it didn't even try to be any thing more. And some parts were unbeleivable cheesy, my jaw fell to the floor at one point cause i couldnt beleive somebody would put that in a movie, its just sooooo stupid. And the vampires, dont get me started on the vampires, cause they sucked, literally and metaphorically. Sure they were hott in person but vampire form was soooo crappy i mean at least try. It is amazing what this much money can be made into. Stephen Summers Sucks. If you have seen either mummy u can tell this is by the same director. He loves to open mouth beyond their capacity, sick fetish?, loves midgets and other short things, sick fetish?, and he doesnt like plot lines, sick fetish? I am pretty sure he just says wow thats cool ill put it(closes eyes and twirls pen in hand then drops pen) here! Perfect, movie complete. All of his important plot points are addons to the movie to make it make a little sense. In the end remember, if a wolfman hits your carriage it will catch on fire! Beware!
**/*****

Mean Girls

What with all the shenanigans and goings-on.

The highlight of the two weeks, lindsey lohann. roowr. Lets face it this is just another one of those click movies but man lindsey is hott. And she has grown quite alot since freaky friday if u kno wat i mean oh yea, giggidy, giggidy, giggidy. SNL is goin down the drain, since tina fey wrote this it doesnt have the best story but really who cares, it has hott chicks
**/*****

Envy

Hope you like cyanide!

Bad jack bad. Stop this right now. Make funny movie like school of rock or waterworld not this crap or shallow hal, or should i say hallow shal, think about it. In a word this movie was not funny, even in the least bit. If christopher walkin can't save ur movie ur in trouble, serious, serious trouble. The plot oh the plot how it thickens yet never to thick. Like when his wife left then came right back, thats good marriaging, or when you never say where the poop goes, dont make a big deal unless ur goin to say where the god damn poop goes. Worst movie seen in a long time
*/*****

May 14th- "Troy" (R)
May 21st- "Shrek 2" TBA)
May 28th- "Day After Tomorrow, The" (TBA)
June 4th- "Mindhunters" (R)
June 11th- "Chronicles of Riddick" (TBA)
June 18th- "Around the World in 80 Days" (TBA)
June 25th- "Garfield" (TBA)
July 2nd- "Spider-Man 2" (TBA)
posted by John at 6:16 PM