The Monotony of Monogamy

 
What the @#$% !

The Village

Yes, hindsight says I should have gone to see Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. But I knew H&K was going to be hilarious, The Village had some questions attached to it. Like "Why are the monsters agitated by the color red?" and "What is the big secret everyone is talking about?"

*Spoilers*
Well, since this movie sucked, I'll tell you. The first question is irrelavent because there are no real monsters. None. Zero. They are just suits worn by elders to scare people into staying in the town. "But why would they try to keep people in? Why not encourage trade and discovery?" Well it's simple, and answers the second question. The live in a wildlife preserve in modern day. A bunch of people who couldn't handle reality ran away to the seclusion of a wildlife preserve. There they raise their kids and live their lives like they live in the 1800s.

This movie had potential. It could have been a decent thriller. I was even into the plot at the beggining. But no, Shyamalan felt the need to include twists and turns that completely ruined the scaryness of the movie. First we think there are monsters, then we're told they're fake. Then we see a monster in the woods, then we're shown that it's just Adrian Brody, who plays a retard, in a suit. He'll win some awards soon, and it's all because of the formula. Playing a retard = awards.

-- I had another paragraph here, but I hit the back button and forgot what was in it. Damn --


Overall: I give this movie a Tony Hawk attempting a 1080 double reverse triple bipass ollie fakie pop shove it. It sounds cool. It might look cool at first glance. But in the end, it's too tricky for it's own good and ends up crashing.

Book of The Wise Pohl, Chapter 2, Verse .5:
Beware the coming of the Bro Shack . . .
posted by Dave at 4:05 PM