The Monotony of Monogamy

 
Alien Versus Predator

This is an example of a time when parents should have crushed their child's dream of becoming a filmmaker.

For keeping the public waiting ive decided to do a Super Special Triple-Review, please try to keep it in your pantaloons. Ah AvP finally a movie that gives me all the Volleyabll i can digest in one serving of volleyball. Wait wat AvP doesn't stand for Association of Volleyball Professionals... what it means... Alien vs Predator wat the hell is that crap, are u serious what were they thinking. This movie never really had a chance of being good, especially with Paul "The Hack" Anderson on board and not only is he on board hes the whole boat. As both writer and director Paul "The Hack" Anderson really has no idea wat in gods name he is doing. The script is just terrible, if you can call it that since conviently all the humans die in the first few scenes, less dialogue, and thats probably for the best. Some of the things in it are so... shockingly bad... so unexpectedly bad they are friggin hi larious. Just thinking about one part makes me crack up. How could that make it into a movie. And the plot lets not talk about the plot, it pains me. The predator is definatly favored to win this from the getgo i guess Paul "The Hack" Anderson really likes those sexy preds. And was it me or did the preds look wierd, in body shape. In conclusion i pray this movie has a sequel so we can see the predalien WooT.
**/*****

Collateral

Uh, I forgot how my muscles work.

Everyone and their sister knows Tom Cruise is hott, and everyone knows Jamie Foxx is black. So what do u get when you mix the two? Tamie Fruise? No, you get Collateral. A movie that has a interesting plot and some quality acting, but man can it get stupid. Almost the whole movie is well paced and in a skewed world believable, until this one scene that is just their to add action and pretty much doesnt fit with the rest of the movie. Other than that its a fun ride while it lasts, and while the end is predictable its still fun, in a kinky kind of way. If you got nothin better to do, like say club a baby seal, than i would take a peak but dont jump out a movin van to c this flick
***/*****

Little Black Book

Wow this movies really drawn me in... to a deep well of despair.

WoW, fun times. A movie so draped in stereotypical romantic comedy situations, decides in in closing scenes to do a little satire/parody of the moral effects of Reality Television on the people living its reality. And the producer who believes wat their making is bigger then them, come on, its not reality, its fiction. And in the end the ending really took me out of this movie. It kinda got preachy, at least its not the stereo type ending that most movie use a cruch, but thats all it has goin for it. The movie has a interesting plot and keeps you entertained at least till the last part which made me angry at the world. Overal if you are a girl you will like this movie, if your not you probably will get bored, but its not terrible by any means
**/*****

August 20th- "Exorcist: The Beginning"(R)
August 27th- "Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid"(PG-13)
September 3rd- "Super Babies: Baby Geniuses 2"(PG)
September 10th- "Resident Evil: Apocalypse"(TBA)
September 17th- "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow"(TBA)
September 24th- "Wimbledon"(TBA)
October 1st- "Shark Tale"(TBA)
October 8th- "Taxi"(TBA)
October 15th- "Team America: World Police"(TBA)
October 22nd- "Finding Neverland"(PG)
October 29th- "Eulogy"(R)
November 5th- "The Incredibles"(TBA)

posted by John at 8:40 PM