The Monotony of Monogamy

 
Sin City

Hooray for good movies! This was a beacon in the darkness that is the current movie selection. This movie went for the direct adaption of a comic book, excuse me, graphic novel as one can get. It truly felt like you were reading a comic book. Which is either really sweet or eh? I mean its been done before, but not to this degree, and not this swelly. The acting was unbelevable especially mickey rourke who caried the movie and should of been in the whole damn thing. sin city is cplit up into 3 stories which is nice since its like watching 3 movies, but disapointing since you know that one is going to be better that the rest. The only real knock on the 3 stories thing is that they are so loosely tied together its kinda ridiculous. It truly feels like three movies with one or two reacurring characters. Dont get me wrong they are three good movies, but they are pretty much three seperate movies. My last complaint about an amazing movie is the voice overs, while they can be entertaining they are overdone. I know i know its a comic book, but come on the voice overs can get a little tiresome. But thank you for this movie
****/*****

The Amityville Horror

Oh My God, people clapped for this movie. If you can call it that. This was the most blatantly stereotypical horror regurgitation since who knows when. It makes no qualms about its crap ass duct taped together story. It doesnt even know who its bad guy is? its like they added one of those creepy girls in their just so everything is in order for those teens. Seriously can a horror movie be made without a little girl, i mean somehow people did it for years, but suddenly its impossible to make a movie without one. This movie is in no way scary, instead it goes for the person appears then disapears the next frame type of shocks. i swear to god it has a clock and every 10 mins it does a half ass attempt to spook a 4 year old. Why must god hate us so much that he would allow a movie like this to be made. People clapped for this movie! People CLAPPED! Whazits? how! have they never seen a motion picture before did the pretty lights and silver screen shock them into amazment, were they sexually atracted to van wilder. How can people like this movie, to any degree. I have lost my faith in humanity.
*/*****

Kung Fu Hustle

Left, left,left,right,left, Another good movie. Good ole chinese people, or japanese, why are you so good at making movies, why do we stupid americans suck so much at making them. I mean if it wasnt for letting us remake the ring, you guys would be my heroes. The action in this movie is so zany,(how zany?) that youll think you are watching a really zany movie. Hey, shutup, you come up with a better analogy. This is what happens when analogies are taken of the SAT. Thank you Communism for that one, thank you. You know what i have noticed its alot easier to right scathing reviews than it is to write positive ones, maybe thats why most critics dont bother praising movies and just denounce them as a sin whose gravity is close to that of Phallocide. Maybe thats why my amityville review was so fun to write. Any ways in conclusion if u you like kung fu movie, japanese people, or chinese food you will love this movie, i guarantee it!(guarantee void in utah)
****/*****
posted by John at 6:24 PM