Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia |
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Saturday, May 31, 2003
Finding Nemo You've got serious thrill issues dude. G-Larious. Is the only word that can describe Fiinding Nemo's hilarity and it all ages G rating. There's not much to say about Finding Nemo, except that is was quality. Pixar knows what they are doing. The Ocean was pulled off amazingly, it just felt right. And the actions of real fish are intertwined in the plot, like the clown fish going back into their anemitie multiple time, good stuff. And how clown fish aren't actually funny, little known fact. Pity. The jokes kept coming, and almost all of them were funny. Even though it was geared toward the youngins i certainly enjoyed myself. Ranked with Pixars other works, it is better than A Bug's Life and Monsters Inc. and on par with Toy Story 2, but it cant beat the classic Toy Story, that movie rocked is hizzous. AA for fish eaters, where do they come up with this. ****/***** June 6th-"The Italian Job" (PG-13) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (PG-13) June 20th-"The Hulk" (PG-13) (0) comments Monday, May 26, 2003
On Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia's three months aniversary, i am proud to reveal the new transendent calendar! Most movies on the calendar probably wont be seen or wont be seen when their currently schedueled. Most movies i have never heard of and might be crap, but the sure as hell somehow made the list. I ended the list with the the movie i want to see the most. And if u look closely there is a two week gap between calendars, summer vacation baby. Without further adeiu, the groin-grabbingly transendent calender!! July 11th-"The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" (PG-13) July 18th-"Bad Boys II" (TBA) July 25th-"Exorcist: The Beginning" (TBA) August 1st-"American Wedding" (TBA) August 8th-"S.W.A.T." (TBA) August 15th-"Freddy vs. Jason" (TBA) August 22nd-"My Boss' Daughter" (TBA) August 29th- "Highwaymen" (TBA) September 5th- "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star" (TBA) September 12th- "Cabin Fever" (TBA) September 19th- "Underworld" (TBA) September 26th- "Secondhand Lions" (TBA) October 3rd- "Scary Movie 3" (TBA) October 10th- "Kill Bill" (TBA) October 17th- "The Runaway Jury" (TBA) October 24th- "Bad Santa" (TBA) October 31st- "Alien: Re-Release" (R) November 5th- "The Matrix Revolutions" (TBA) November 7th- "Jersey Girl" (TBA) (0) comments Sunday, May 25, 2003
Bruce Almighty The hell with this. Let's go back to the station house, and cornhole us a drunk The first 5 minutes of this movie, was by far the best part of Bruce Almighty. Which in itself is kinda sad. The jokes just weren't that funny, they produced snickers, but not tear's, the tear's of laughter. I can honestly say i laughed harder during Piglet's Big Movie, than this. When are people going to learn we dont go to movies for some sappy moral struggle, we go for entertainment. It was way to predictable, it felt like i had already seen this movie. It kept my attention but just barely. What he did with his powers could have been... oh wat could have been. This movies isnt nearly as funny as it should have been, could have been, or thinks it is. **/***** And on that note, we cue the music. May 30th-"Finding Nemo" (G) June 6th-Party (NC-17) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (TBA) June 20th-"The Hulk" (TBA) (0) comments Wednesday, May 21, 2003
The Matrix: Reloaded Part III Ignorance is bliss. I love the idea behind the Matrix, its distubingly erotic, or as the dan would say, Xotica. The story is titly nit, with only a few holes. The characters are more than 2 dimensional, and they are okayily(okay-e-ly) acted, some better than others. Morpheus, definatly the coolest, gets a lot more screen time this time around. Agent Smith happily returns, in a great multitude, fighting with no chance of victory or defeat, the way it was meant to be. Which brings me to the fighting, long and entertaining. Just how i like it. I good portion of Reloaded are fighting scenes, no complaints here. The fights had a surpirsing amount of variety for their length, and just kept goin. If they where in the Matrix, they were either fighting or about to start a fight. Merovigian, one of the highlights of the movie, he reminded me of a James Bond villain, like Goldfinger or Dr. No. He was just cool, and he was a playa, with one hot wife hoe girl friend. Yea u kno who i am talking about, Persaphone. I love the ancient rome throw back Merovigian dynasty any one? Finally school has a purpose. Speaking of Persaphone, if those busoms weren't heaving than i dont know wat is. Rowwwwwr! And let me tell u those things were ample, oh so ample. And did u see wat she was wearing, yea i didnt either. But this movie was not without its cool costumes. Although Neo's could have been better, Morpheus' suit more than made up for that. He is bordering on being dangerously cool. Bordering? The twins were quite slick themselves, styling some dreadlocks right out of the 90s and some suits right out of tomorrow. Their little trick was probably the best computer graphics part of the movie, that shit was grooovy, The extra o is for oorginal. Sadly they had to die, although their death was pretty cool, lets have a moment of silence... okay i promised myself i would cry. If you wonder y i said so much bad about Reloaded, it is because it was not perfect and you cant just act like its faults aren't real. The first step is admitting you have a problem, it is also consequently, the last step Now although this movie didn't live up to my expections, it was entertaining. The only time i looked at my watch. Was to make sire the movie was about to end. Which i didnt want it to. As the Matrix's sequel it derserves 3 stars but as a movie unto itself it gets the big... ****/***** May 23rd-"Bruce Almighty" (PG-13) May 30th-"Finding Nemo" (G) June 6th-Party (NC-17) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (TBA) June 20th-"The Hulk" (TBA) (0) comments Tuesday, May 20, 2003
The Matrix: Reloaded Part II I got a weird thing for girls who say "aboot." The fighting, was for me not as fufiling as the fights in the original. The use of extreme amounts of CG animation, definatly did not help. It was way too obvious. The worst case of this was the Smith vs Neo battle. If you look at the Smithes faces, they look kinda weird at some points. Neo, when computerized, was way to obvious and could easily be pointed out. I have no issues with CG graphics, their is just a time and a place for it. CG is allowing directors to be less creative and giving them a an easy way out. CG is used way to much these days, wait a few years guys, it will be better then *cough* hulk *cough* Zion didnt seem right to me. But this is a matter of preference, i always pictured Zion, as i dunno different. I am not saying it was not done well, i just didn't like it. The party scene could and should have been cut from this movie, it served no purpose. Couldnt that time be better spent. There is something more fufilling about watching the good guys struggle, then watching them dominate. Call me old fashion but when did everyone else become good at fighting? The agents, supposidly upgraded, stuggle killing Morpheus? Wasn't morpheus made Agent Smith's bitch in the first one. The agents lost their alure, they are no longer the feared soldiers of the matrix, they are the walking jokes that get defeated at every turn. The twins were gipped, they were promising. Probably the best new characters in the Matrix were killed off too early and too easily. Which brings me to my final point, the ending. I didn't like it, not defined well enough. Not enough climax, just kind of ended, like ummm thats it come back in 6 months. I dont care if it was the second of three, stop making excuses for this movie Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. To be Concluded? (0) comments Monday, May 19, 2003
The Matrix: Reloaded That is the sound of inevitability. The critics were not dead wrong, Chris, not by a long shot. This movie was under my expectations, way under. Maybe my expectations were to high, maybe i was foolish for thinking they could pull off the impossible, or maybe just maybe Chris' expectations were to low. I expected to be blown away, to see the world in a different light, to expand my horizons. I wanted a revolution. I recieved none. In retrospect this was naive and foolish, miracles don't happen. Nothing short of God himself could have satisfied my appetite for entertainment. And Reloaded fars well short of the almighty. My colleagues it seems walked into this movie quite the opposite. Anything done in this movie would most definetaly be good. Im not saying they're wrong, but i am saying they are exagerating the Matrix's goodness. This is not the end all, be all of movies in the 21st century. This will not revolutionize movies, like the first one did. Following in the footsteps of the first movie, is not fair. The original changed the way movies will be made for some time. Scifi will never be the same. Lets not forget what made it good though, the story. The style was an addition, not the center of the movie. Forever it will live, through parodies, when we are old men we will get questions about it. I wanted to much... To be Continued? (0) comments Saturday, May 17, 2003
Down with Love If you see 100 movies this year, make sure this isn't one of them. Oh my, that wasn't right. Where was the singing and the dancing and the what not and the tomfoolery, won't somebody think about the tomfoolery. If you didn't know, this movie is not a musical, i kno i was surprised too. There is absolutly no chemistry between ewan and renee, and what the hell where the wearing!?! The sexual inuendo was not funny, although that was all the movie had going for it. This movie made me sexist i think. It constantly portrayed women as annoying (fill in the blank) in the work place and then when they finally make it the women produced these bull shit remarks about the patriarchal society had it in for them. Give me a freaking break. It's in "Revelations", people! Down with love my ass, in the end the catcher was right all along, at least in the movie he was. Oh yea the story sucked also. In the immortal words of Banky Edwards "All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'." */***** May 16th-"The Matrix Reloaded" (R) May 23rd-"Bruce Almighty" (PG-13) May 30th-"Finding Nemo" (G) June 6th-Party (NC-17) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (TBA) June 20th-"The Hulk" (TBA) (0) comments Wednesday, May 14, 2003
No Calendar make John go... something something. May 16th-"The Matrix Reloaded" (R) May 23rd-"Bruce Almighty" (PG-13) May 30th-"Finding Nemo" (G) June 6th-Party (NC-17) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (TBA) June 20th-"The Hulk" (TBA) Chris is not a Communist... he may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist... but he is *not* a porn star! All in good natured fun. (0) comments Tuesday, May 13, 2003
PLEASE NOTE: UPTOWN ENTERTAINMENT REQUIRES ID TO PURCHASE TICKETS FOR ALL "G" RATED FILMS That ill be the day. Whatever happened to these lovable general admission teddy bears of movies? Why have the become the zima of the 90s. It wasn't always like this, there once was a day when "R" was unheard of ans "G" was risky enough. I have been watching a few "classics" recently, and most of are rated my favorite letter is the alpahbet, G. Now these aren't Disney animated cartoony fluff, these are live action movies with naked men running, swimming, and every now and then jumping. Now i know what your thinking, where are these naked men and how can i join them. Maybe its just me or has MPAA changed it standards, a little. "G" movies just don't get made any more, and if they do their put out as PG or PG-13 movies. Lizzie McGuire, i would like to know what made that PG besides the almighty dollar. Hopefully Finding Nemo will gracefully accept the "G". Finding Nemo looks to be one of the best movies this year, yes better than, fill in the blank. Old "G" movies were just as bad as some of today's PG-13 movies, and PG-13 movies always hold back a little to prevent getting the dreaded R. I would agrue that nudity is a pretty much R only tomfoolery. Adult Themes my ass. PG is a joke, it shouldn't be a rating. I have not seen one movie that i thought should be PG and not "G". All i want is for people to make "G" movies again, o how i love thee. Any ways if you haven't noticed i stoped doing 5 Star Collection because it was getting to hard to think of good movies. Although every once and awhile ill add a member. And remember "Did you have pants on, when you made it big?" (0) comments Monday, May 12, 2003
why hello fellow bloggers, first post up right now, if u know who i am talk to me at school tommorow, lol invite me to ur party chris, ill review stuff when i feel like it, but until then ill make fun of people, like that short hairy guy running the 400 at track today........... (0) comments Sunday, May 11, 2003
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: The Tip of the Apex Whoa! Chris what happened to you. You've changed man. That review of X2 was sub-par at best. And batman has a point, you certainly like stealing things. Is their an original idea in that red head of yours. Anyways here's the real problem batman is a little to good to go to the movies on Friday's. Friday or Saturday, were going ViP for sure, no questions asked. Matrix has the huge possibility of being the biggest disapointment since sliced bread. I am a little worried. The Hulk however most certainly will be crap. It's just sad. How could they screw up the Hulk's look so bad. Bruce Almighty, will it be the next Cable Guy, or the next Dumb and Dumber. If you haven't guessed i dont have high hopes for this movie either. As for Finding Nemo though, i think it may be the greatest thing since... the nickel. How i love the nickel. Hollywood Homicide most likely will have a predictable story but you never know. You may have noticed Italian Job has been stricken from the calender. This is because Edward Norton, the only reason i wanted to see the movie, said it was crap. i think i said it best "goddamn u chuck". Its almost poetry, almost. (0) comments Saturday, May 10, 2003
A Mighty Wind But if you put him in a cell with a long hose on him, he'd make a lot of friends in the locker room. Hi Larious. This was a chuckle full of laughs, and then some. Its pretty safe to say this is the funniest movie i have seen this year. A Mighty Wind follows the reunion of a few folk bands, doing a tribute concert for a dead folk promoter. One of the funniest moments however was the descirption of one ladies rise to fame. In quote unquote "short films", one of them being " Not So Tiny Tim", if you get my drift. Hmm, thats strangely arousing. Moving On, the folk music wasn't half bad, it wasnt half good either, but it was all folk, baby. There's something about folk music that makes you just want to go on a killing spree so maybe just maybe, if God is just, you'll kill everyone who buys that stuff. Yep all 3 people who buy that stuff. But if folk music's your bag, watch your back, or you'll never know when someone is like standing behind you or something. I guess i should stop writing before i get in some kind of trouble, with some kind of government agency. ****/***** May 16th-"The Matrix Reloaded" (R) May 23rd-"Bruce Almighty" (PG-13) May 30th-"Finding Nemo" (TBA) June 6th-Party (NC-17) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (TBA) June 20th-"The Hulk" (TBA) (0) comments Sunday, May 04, 2003
X²: X Men United We love what you've done with you're hair. An improvement, yes. A disapointment, a little. I guess i just wanted more from this movie, if your going to make a movie about the x-men why dont you put some of them in it? This movie was less a wolverine-centric movie and gave a love to other cast members. Cyclops, barely was in the movie beside the first and last seen, which was a little disapointing, because he is like cool and stuff. Nightcrawler was done right, and his german accent stole the show. Colossus had one scene with his powers, hopefully he will be a main character in the next installment. Beast again got the short end of the stick. Pyro was one of the best characters in the movie, that damn optical illusion. Did any one else find it wierd they never called Yuriko Oyama, Lady Deathstrike? This movie was, if you think about it, a lot like the first one in terms of plot. Why does the whole free world have to be on the line, why not just like Wisconsin. Then the good guys wouldn't even have to win, 'cause nobody cares about Wisconsin, at all. ***/***** May 9th-"A Mighty Wind" (PG-13) May 16th-"The Matrix Reloaded" (R) May 23rd-"Bruce Almighty" (TBA) May 30th-"The Italian Job" (TBA) June 6th-Party (NC-17) June 13th-"Hollywood Homicide" (TBA) June 20th-"The Hulk" (TBA) (0) comments |